Unbelonging in a Utopia
In the modern utopia of Park City, I feel a dull sense of unbelonging. The grand mountains I admired this morning now tower over me as mounds of green. I realize now that I feel like no more than a vacation girlfriend. The personality and presence that is apt for refuges from the daily toil of life. The easy and carefree lifestyle I embody is better fit for vacation than academia.
I do not lead my life as a linear pursuit for achievement. I have no plans to populate the Guggenheim with paintings, or to work as a Facebook programmer. I have plans to visit neighbourhood cafes and to buy embroidery floss on sale. My ambitions are not revered as the Linkedin-worthy sort. Never has climbing any sort of social or corporate ladder been a goal of mine. And I am very sorry that I expected myself to be willed into becoming more traditionally ambitious at the cost of gratification.
This website is not a portfolio, or a marketing package for who I am. This website is a treasure box where I keep things and ideas that make me happy. It is shared with you, for I hope it will evoke positive feelings in others too. If there is such thing as a soul, then this site is an accurate representation of what has always been, and will continue to be.
Though the potential within may remain forever untapped, this is is quite alright with me. Capitalists will see an undiscovered oil field as a phenomenal loss. This supposed loss is what protects hikers, residents, and wildlife who depend on this land.
I deserve to feel belonging. I will feel belonging when I find the environment that accepts me as I come.